Wednesday, January 04, 2006

what HAVE i been doing. i'm just out here in the wild with free days on end, so why can't i post to this thing more often (a question all my friend bloggers i'm sure ask themselves (you know who you are birdie flu, not just getting fat, and liquid light). well, i'll tell you what i've been doing- reading, baking, applying for jobs, snowshoeing, watching tv, putting puzzles together, doing soduku puzzles, snow blowing the runway, laundry, getting water from the spring, getting firewood, chopping kindling, burning garbage, snaking clogged laundry pipes, filling up feed bags with sawdust to insulate exposed pipes, fighting with tony, entertaining ray arnold the mail guy every wednesday, playing poker, billiards, backgammon, and ping pong, ordering grocery's, filling up the tractors with diesel, the mules with regular gas, replacing shear pins on the tractor, tracking wolves, bobcats, and elk. what i HAVE NOT been doing is writing letters or emails or posting to abbzug. but i have been taking pictures. go to www.snapfish.com and enter my username: gonglar7@hotmail.com and my password: ABBIE; you can view the pictures as a slideshow. i'll be posting more up there so stay tuned. eventually i might have a link (but i might be lying about this). so far i've read: one hundred years of solitude- gabriel marcia marquez (excellent, best book i've read for a while), the nanny diaries- emma mclaughlin and nicola kraus (easy read), memoirs of a geisha- arthur golden (very interesting, i'd like to see how the movie shapes up), the bonesetters daughter- amy tan (didn't like it so much), now i'm reading angela's ashes by frank mccourt. did you know the webster webpage had a 'word of the day'? http://www.merriamwebster.com/cgi-bin/mwwod.pl if you check it out, make sure you use the thingie where they pronounce the word. it's funny to imitate. and one more thing that's funny. Cabela's Tur-Duc-Hen:
Picture this - chicken stuffed with your choice of five dressings, stuffed inside a deboned duck that is stuffed with more dressing. Then put those two birds inside a turkey filled with even more stuffing and you have a 15-lb. delicacy known as a Tur-Duc-Hen. It's a true Southern dining experience that will have your holiday guests raving. Or, if you are looking for incredible Southern flavor for a smaller party, the Tur-Duc-Hen Roll is a 4-lb. helping of seasoned turkey breast stuffed with layers of duck and chicken, and dressed with creole pork sausage. Refrigeration needed. Arrives fresh, frozen, and ready to cook.
how gross is that? for our christmas dinner we had pork tenderloin marinated in zesty italian dressing, salty stuffing, baked corn, cranberry relish, and twice-baked potatoes. for new years eve we had ruebens and hot fudge sundae's. well, tata for now

Monday, November 28, 2005

the flight into pistol creek yesterday was the most beautiful flight i've ever had into the backcountry. everything was covered by a layer of snow, making all the trees stand out against the mountainsides, and any animal movement evident. i'm only sorry that the flight from cascade is so short. about 25 minutes. it's cold here, giving me a chance to try out my new colombia cascadian trinity boots. i can't describe how fresh and invigorating it is to be in the backcounty in the winter. i don't want to walk, i want to run everywhere. the cabin is cozy with a fireplace, there is a ton of food, although i called in a grocery order today of some things like green peppers and bananas. chris and dave, the main caretakers have been showing us the ropes. the only thing i have to complain of is these preconceived gender roles that they are fitting us into. today chris showed me some of the cabins and where all the mousetraps were to empty, and i helped her organize the refrigerators and freezers, and we made cookies, while dave showed tony where the spring was, how to operate the hydroplant, and how to clear the runway. also, whenever dave is talking about something technical, he talks directly to tony. i liked doing the organizing and stuff but i would rather be included on all the operations details. i don't really know how to tell them that without offending them since they seem to have a schedule and a list of what to tell each of us. currently, i just appease myself with the fact that i can ask tony to show me everything after they leave. regardless, it is great and i feel really lucky to be here.

Saturday, June 11, 2005

the leadore library is open three days a week, for three hours each time.
there is 90 people in leadore, but no one goes to the library. i, for one, have never been there.
apparently i didn't know what a libertarian is. according to my libertarian crew mate, there should be no laws discouraging such things as racist acts or hate crimes, people should not have to rent to people whose skin color they don't like, and nothing should befall you if you burn a cross in someone's yard. now that i've been educated, i don't think i'll ever rent to a libertarian. is it true that i will have to spend many hours on end with this lib-freak? i ask myself 50 times a day. it seems it is.

Tuesday, March 29, 2005

On the whole human beings want to be good, but not too good, and not quite all the time.
George Orwell (1903 - 1950)

Monday, March 28, 2005

battling thoughts about my future

once i couldn't function if i didn't have a large picture i was working towards. after my undergrad my world fell apart a little because i didn't know what to do next- there was no goal to obtain- or at least none i could identify. 4 years later i still have no big picture. anything 'normal' such as an 8hr a day indoor job where i make trips to the watercooler just to take a walk seem like a bad idea. what does sound good is health insurance, a 401k, and a paycheck. however, the trade off bites. a permanent seasonal job is appealing, where you work 6-9 months out of the year. then i could travel/work/volunteer overseas in the off time. it would be the best of both worlds. i could even buy a house and fix it up. what do i want?

i could go back to idaho. i love idaho. i love it so much if it was a man i'd marry it. it makes my heart soar. i feel at home, happy, at peace. with folks like me, or at least that i'd like to be like, who are free from the conventionalities of life. some of the conventionalities, anyway. but, i wouldn't get paid as much as i would by using my skills (acquired in all higher education) and why did i get those degrees if i wasn't interested in using them. my undergrad of which i'm still in debt. and i have to deal with people in large groups and demand their attention. the public mostly sucks. they're dumb, they're sloppy, and the ones i come across are mostly rich. sometimes they're nice to talk to, but sometimes they're just checking to see if you're as smart as they are, or to see if they can get in your pants. but the place is magical and beautiful. more later, i've got to go drink with mark.

Tuesday, March 15, 2005

spring is for weddings, and i've got three.

two friends, one cousin.

chapter two of my thesis is the bane of my existence. i wrote it last. and i don't think if i saved chapt. 3 for last it would have been this much of a pain in my ass.

i have eaten everything within reach.

last night i made a jewish meal for mark and jenn- mother wolffe soup, mushroom piroshkes, and gingered beets.

don woods is playing bad music on NPR this week.

i want to watch movies: i heart huckabees, maria full of grace, monster, the station agent, napoleon dynamite, and others i can't remember.

i also want a job. or do i?

Friday, February 18, 2005

ok, ok, i realize i've let this thing go. kelly brought it to my attention that she feels like it's the only way we keep in touch, and sadly it's true. we haven't talked for months, and i haven't even seen her for over a year! (but i'm working on it kelly, i'm applying for every job in idaho i find). i don't even know anything about her new beau except that he doesn't mind a dropped cake.

now, as way of explanation for not attending to those i care about as often as i'd like: i recently had a life change. my sister came to live with me after christmas, and is staying until march 14. i have to give a seminar on my research to the botany department and every time i think about it, i want to throw up. i have to finish my thesis. chapters 1 and 3 and the lit review have been edited. chapter 2 is in the works. i have to defend sometime soon. i get up almost every day at 415 and go to bed no earlier than 10. i'm drinking so much coffee i'm in a constant state of nervous agitation and loose bowels. i think that might be agood place to quit.

this is also a time of enlightenment for me. through caring for my sister, who doesn't even require that much care, i have a deeper understanding of my parents lives, and also understand some of the straits single parents might face. it's also reconfirmed the thought that i really don't know if i ever want to have kids. the amount of energy and selflessness it takes to care for another person is really high. i don't really mind it, it doesn't feel like a burden, it feels kind of natural, and i like having her here, but i don't know if i would want to create that life for myself. i'm not saying it doesn't have rewards. i get tons of hugs and kisses every day, we sing ALL the time, she's cuddly and fun, she's supportive, has a terrific sense of humor, and it's nice having her as a roommate. BUT, i have to make dinner and floss her teeth (she has braces) every night, do laundry EVERY weekend, be quiet after 8 PM, and think about her almost all the time.

yes, i always have the aspiration to write funny, witty, amusing things, but always end up with this kind of thing, which is probably boring and blasai to most. maybe when i'm older..

and speaking of getting older; i think i am starting to LOOK older. every time i look in the mirror, i think "OH MY GOD, i look like I'm 30!" and i'm not, i'm only 26. and i think i'm getting uglier too, and may have to face the nightmare soon that i've passed my prime, which was never much of a prime to begin with, and then there goes my moneymaker. no ugly girl is going to find a rich man to support her. they all want trophy wives. and now it's too late. i guess there's plastic surgery, but i'm kind of opposed to that. dammit, i'll just have to support my own self. although my dad keeps saying what's his is mine. wouldn't he be surprised if all of a sudden i took it?

America is a large, friendly dog in a very small room. Every time it wags its tail, it knocks over a chair.
Arnold Toynbee (1889 - 1975)

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